I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
