Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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