How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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