suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
