david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
