I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
