Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
