He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
she smelled like a LAN party
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
