Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
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My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
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I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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