so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
