Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize