We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
