Where are you?
In a non slutty way
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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