i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
