So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
