i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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