Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
