turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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