You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
