Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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