Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He? As in you personified your dick?
Randomize
