Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
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He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
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Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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