K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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