I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
