you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
