I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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