He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
is wine microwaveable?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
