The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
