You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
