I need help removing her.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Damn victory sex feels great
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize