i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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