So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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