im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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