She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
