How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
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A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
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He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize