She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
