That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
