my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
