there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
