Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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