beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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