he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
