is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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