It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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