I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
This toilet bowl is my home.
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