Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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