Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
