somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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