I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
