I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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