You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
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For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
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I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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