If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
