he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
