people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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