names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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