More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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