we're blogging at a bar
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Also, beer. Big fan.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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