just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
